You’re not alone! The fear of speaking in public or ‘glossophobia’ ranks right up there with the fear of death, insects and flying for most people.
“According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy”. Jerry Seinfeld
So why is it so terrifying? We can quite comfortably tell our stories to close friends and acquaintances but put us in front of a group or an even larger audience and it’s painfully hard.
Is it a fear of judgement? All eyes upon us in the spotlight?
Is it the fear that our words, ideas, stories are of no interest? We’re horrifyingly boring?
Is it the fear of ridicule, humiliation, shame? What if we go red, our hands shake badly, we talk too fast, stammer, stutter, lose our place, forget our speech?
Is it the fear that we’re just not good enough?
Maybe even reading this is causing you to feel anxious?
Over the past twenty years of public speaking coaching, I’ve discovered that the fear of public speaking is something most people would love to overcome. I think there is a belief that there’s a magic formula that will help with this – a quick, easy process. Maybe a bit of coaching, a six-week course, an inner tweaking, a few affirmations. And yes, all of these things can help. But, like anything we wish to get good at, to master, it takes a whole lot of time, effort, practice. Time preparing presentations, time rehearsing alone, time in front of an audience.
I was terrified of public speaking. During high school I would fake sick days to get out of giving class talks for English. At University I would drop whole papers if the requirement was a weekly group tutorial where you were expected to contribute verbally. It was my greatest fear for a long time.
Until finally, I decided I’d had enough of my fearful self. I wanted to speak with confidence, I wanted to share my voice and I wanted to be good. I joined a local Toastmasters group and it was life-changing. Every week I was invited to speak – to give a prepared talk, to give feedback to others or to chair the meeting. Monday was the night. On Sunday, I would begin to feel sick and by Monday afternoon I would be flushed, anxious, sweaty and wanting to pull out. I didn’t. I kept going every week until I began to look forward to it. I improved. I became a club mentor, helping other terrified souls move forward on their speaking path. Public speaking became my thing and I loved it.
It takes time, patience and commitment to overcome your fear and dread of public speaking. It’s not a one-off thing you do and yep, mastered that! It’s a skill and it requires practice, lots of it. Nervousness is a natural thing that happens before any performance whether it be giving a speech, running a marathon or attending a job interview. A bit of nervousness can actually help! It’s all about learning how to harness those nerves and allowing them to help you align your energy so as to speak with greater ease and confidence.
Is it time for you to confront your fear of public speaking? Is it time to start saying yes to those opportunities at work to facilitate groups, lead meetings, give that next presentation with confidence? Or to become a voice in your community for leadership and change? Or maybe it’s simply to address the deeply held limiting beliefs you hold about yourself as a confident speaker? When we begin to do something that truly terrifies us, it can be liberating, freeing, exciting.
Check out your local Toastmasters club. Go along to a meeting. Be brave! Find a mentor, a coach. Make some goals for yourself – small steps forward. Begin to think about yourself as a confident public speaker. Decide you will no longer be ‘tongue-tied and terrified’.
