For most of my life, I’ve felt embarrassed and ashamed of my thumbs. I would often sit on public transport or in new social situations with them hidden, tucked away under my other fingers because I was scared someone would see them and feel repulsed.
Friends loved my thumbs! In high school, if a new person came into our group at least one of my friends would pipe up and say, “Show them your thumbs, Lee”. This still happens today! I’ve spent my life displaying my thumbs for people to stare in horror or have a laugh at.
There’s actually a term for my thumbs – it’s a real thing. Club or stub thumbs, known as Brachydactyly type D and is an inherited condition where the end bones of the thumbs are shortened. Apparently, Megan Fox the actress has them as does around 4% of the US population. I live in New Zealand so I’m not sure of the stats, but I do remember being on a road trip down the west coast of the South Island, pulling into a garage for fuel when the attendant commented, “Hey, we have the same thumbs”. I didn’t feel better!
I have also passed on my thumbs to three of my daughters which definitely affirms the genetic link. One of these girls had a baby daughter recently and the first thing her partner did was check the newborn’s thumbs! They were normal.
After years of feeling deformed and embarrassed, when I had my girls I needed to embrace our thumbs in a positive way so they would feel good about themselves and their uniqueness. I began to try to love and accept my thumbs, or at least pretend to so my girls would also learn to appreciate theirs.
My thumbs are great in certain ways. I’m an incredible massage therapist. My thumbs are big, soft pads that can find trigger points and hold them with depth and intensity until they release. My thumbs are super strong. Often clients will say, “Is that an elbow you’re using?” “Nope, just my thumb!”
I’m also a classical pianist, my thumbs nimble and fast when playing a Beethoven sonata that requires speed and dexterity. My thumbs don’t really limit me in any way and I’ve learned to adjust if they’re too chunky to fit into small crevices or too fat to type on an iPhone. I just use my forefinger and I’m as speedy as any thumb user!
As I reflect on my life with weird thumbs I realise that my thumbs are not who I am. They’re a part of my body. I am not my thumbs. I can’t say I’ve learned to love them. I appreciate them. I still sometimes look at beautifully long, shapely thumbs and wish. I love stroking my partner’s thumbs in their streamlined perfection. He loves being stroked by mine!
If anything, my thumbs have helped me appreciate what it must be like to have a more obvious body deformity or condition that causes people to stop, stare, comment, laugh, judge. My heart goes out to you and my hope is that you can stand strong in yourself and remember you are so much more than your external appearance.
